Website Terms Of Service
Wow! You actually came to this
page. Our lawyers made us include it and made us use
a precious button on our home page to get you here.
At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain.
But then we read the page. What a Netwakening! It's
really important stuff. We took the legalese the
lawyers wrote and translated it into readable
English. So be a smart nethead and read the stuff on
this page. It could prevent you from hearing from
our lawyers, or worse yet, from really nasty people,
like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that
people like you (and people you like) can use it for
personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead
and browse around all you like. You can even
download stuff from the site but only for
non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though,
don't fool around with the copyright and other
notices all over the stuff. They're there for a
really good reason. And don't even think about
distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing,
re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the
stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video,
for public or commercial purposes unless we give you
written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're
also legally obligated to [read: stuck with] the
terms and conditions listed below and any other law
or regulation that applies to the site, the
Internet, the World Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA.
You shouldn't access or browse the site if you have
any problem with that, because once you start,
there's no turning back -- you are bound by [read:
stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top
Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake,
just assume that everything on the site is
copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use
the stuff except how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without our written
permission. And like we said before, it's not likely
we'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if
we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any
deal anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to
include accurate stuff on the site, we're not
promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not
promising you anything except fun and entertainment.
So if you use stuff on the site, you're using it at
your own risk. Don't call us if there's a problem
because we assume no liability or responsibility for
errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else
who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site
are not liable for any damages you suffer when you
use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know
that our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental,
consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising
out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without
limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is
provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY
KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT
NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF
MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE,
OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some
jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied
warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not
apply to you. Check your local laws for any
restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion
of implied warranties. " Ugh! What a mouthful from
the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes
because we couldn't figure out any other way to say
it that the lawyers would accept. But here's the
bottom line -- we're not responsible if you're
browsing around and the site damages you or your
computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We
sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't
call us.
4. If you don't want the
world to know something, don't post in on the site
in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's
because anything you disclose to us is ours. That's
right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with
the stuff you post. We can reproduce it, disclose
it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post
it someplace else. We can even send it to your
mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only
that, we can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how,
or techniques you post any way we want to,
including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you
post.
5. Pictures of people or
places shown on the site are either our property or
someone else's property we're using with their
permission. No matter what, it's definitely not your
property. You or any of your net-friends can't use
it unless we said you could on this page or
somewhere else on the site. And guess what -- we
won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because
unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty
laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to
yourself.
6. There's also a lot of
trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site
that either we own or we're using with someone
else's permission. So don't think you have any kind
of license or right to use them, because you don't
and we're not about to give you one. If you don't
leave them alone and mess with our trademarks, logos
and service marks on our site, we'll probably go
ballistic, so will the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that
we're likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to
come after you for messing around with our property
or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice
we've linked our site to lots of others. While
that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all
those sites, much less checked them out periodically
to see what's going on. So don't blame us if some
site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that
offends you or your pets. Go ahead and link, but
remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what
you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen
in on chat groups, or look at the posting in our
discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take
no responsibility and assume no liability for the
content of those locations or for any mistakes,
defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods,
obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might
encounter when you visit such places on our site.
And don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any
unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory,
obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic,
nasty, mean, or profane material or any material
that law enforcement types may consider a criminal
offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or
for that matter violate any law -- anywhere,
anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we
have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law
enforcement authorities or court which might ask us
who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use
on this Site is protected by all sorts of patriotic
U.S. laws. Because of that, you can't download or
send the software to anyone in the vacation travel
spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran,
Syria, or any other country where United States has
embargoed goods; or (get this) to anyone on the
United States Treasury Department's list of
Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce
Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most
Wanted Internet Creeps List (just kidding on the
last one). As if that were not tough enough, if you
live in or are a national of any of those lovely
places, you're not even supposed to be reading this
page, so beat it!
10. We're also allowed to
change this page and anything else on the site any
time we want to. That's because it's ours and we
have the programmers who can do it. If we do change
the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with]
those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us
wants to make something of it and wants to “sue” (a
dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of
engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva
Convention):
This Agreement is governed by
the laws of the State of South Carolina, without
regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any
manner violated or threatened to violate
RentToOwnEbook.comand/or its affiliates'
intellectual property rights, RentToOwnEbook.comand/or
its affiliates may seek injunctive or other
appropriate relief in any state or federal court
in the State of South Carolina, and you consent to
exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be
resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this
agreement, we agree to first try to resolve it with
the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in the
following location: Richland County. Any costs and
fees other than attorney fees associated with the
mediation will be shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to
arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution through
mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to binding
arbitration at the following location: Richland
County, under the rules of the American Arbitration
Association. Judgment upon the award rendered by the
arbitration may be entered in any court with
jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of
mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the
lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to
remind them that human torture and sacrifice was
outlawed in the United States. Boy, did they look
disappointed!
June 17, 2007
RentToOwnEbook.com
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